Perfecting Your Essay: The Art of "Show, Don't Tell" in Final Edits

As you approach the finish line with your college application essay, you want to make sure you've added enough vivid details and engaging elements as possible. Let's face it, you want to be more memorable than the last applicant or the next. And the next. One of the most effective ways to achieve this is through the age-old writing advice: "Show, don't tell." This technique can transform your essay from story into a vivid, authentic narrative that captivates admissions officers. Here's how to incorporate this principle into your final editing process.

1. Identify "Telling" Statements

Start by reading through your essay and highlighting any sentences that simply state facts or conclusions about yourself. These are your "telling" statements. For example:

• "I am a hard worker."

• "The experience taught me leadership skills."

• "I felt nervous before the competition."

These statements, while true, don't give the reader much to engage with or remember.\

2. Transform "Telling" into "Showing"

For each "telling" statement, challenge yourself to rewrite it as a specific scene or example that illustrates the point. This is where "showing" comes in. Let's transform the above examples:

• Instead of "I am a hard worker," try: "I remained on the field running drills until the stadium lights flickered off."

• Rather than "The experience taught me leadership skills," consider: "Over time, my voice trembled less with determination I lead our team to save the school newspaper."

  
  

3. Engage the Senses

A key aspect of "showing" is engaging the reader's senses. As you edit, look for opportunities to incorporate sensory details:

• What did you see? (Consider the vibrancy of a kaleidoscope of color on your canvas)

• What did you hear? (Consider the uncertainty behind the rhythmic beeping of hospital monitors)

• What did you smell? (Consider the rich aroma of spices from my grandmother's kitchen)

• What did you feel? (Consider the vibration of the cello strings on your fingertips)

• What did you taste? (Consider the salty mix of sweat and tears lingering long after your defeat)

  
  

4. Use Active Verbs

Replace passive or weak verbs with more dynamic, specific ones. This instantly adds energy and vividness to your writing. For example:

• Instead of "I went ," try "I trudged ."

• Rather than "I was nervous," consider "I stammered."

  
  

5. Include Dialogue

Thoughtfully chosen snippets of dialogue can bring a scene to life and reveal character. Instead of summarizing a conversation, give the reader a taste of the actual words exchanged:

"You've got this, kiddo," my father whispered with a comforting shoulder squeeze. "Remember why you started."

6. Balance and Pacing

While "showing" is powerful, be mindful of your word count. You can't show everything, so choose the most impactful moments to expand upon. Use briefer "telling" statements to bridge between these vivid scenes and maintain good pacing.

7. Read Aloud

Finally, read your essay aloud and read them aloud to others. Don't be embarrassed - this is your future! This helps you identify areas that feel flat, unconvincing, or overly "flowery". If you find yourself bored or disengaged at any point, chances are your reader will too. These are the sections to revisit and infuse with more "showing" details.

Remember, the goal is authenticity. "Showing" isn't about embellishment or exaggeration—it's about bringing your genuine experiences and emotions to life on the page. By mastering this technique, you'll craft an essay that not only informs but also resonates, creating a lasting impression on anyone who reads it.

Your unique stories and perspectives are what make you stand out. Now, armed with the power of "show, don't tell," you have the tools to ensure your essay does justice to the remarkable individual you are. Good luck with your applications!

Contact me to discuss how we can work together to review your essays and brainstorm from prompts to insert appropriate details where your essays are falling flat. I'm here to guide your way to the finish line!